Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
