so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We got so high we made milksteak
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
