GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
