youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
