Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
