This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
