It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
