Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
