That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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