I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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