Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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