so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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