i can't believe i had my finger in that
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
