Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
