Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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