According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
