Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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