WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize