He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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