WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
