If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
