My brain says no but my pants say off.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
