dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
