i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
