so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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