I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
