Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize