discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
