A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
