I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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