I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
