you guys were way drunker than both of me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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