You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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