I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
