YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
