Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
