Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
