I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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