forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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