walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We got so high we made milksteak
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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