i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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