i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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