What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
