what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize