sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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