I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
