my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize