Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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