Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
