Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
