their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
