Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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