We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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