is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
