omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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