bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize