do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize