how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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