For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
