I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think people are normalizing furries
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
