is your mom at the bar?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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