He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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