Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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