we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
