Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
