I wannas sexs uuuuu
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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