I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
