You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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